User blog:Humanian/A SCARY Creepy Pasta - The Twerk

As I was listening to 1 Direction's First Symphany made by the legendary Barack Obama, Morgan Freeman's guitar solo came on. As he was rocking his guitar I could hear a noise, but it wasn't coming from the headphones. I looked around my house and realized I was home... ALONE. As I got my kitchen knife covered in red stuff from a random dead body, I saw a statue, one that I've NEVER SEEN BEFORE!

I called my mommy and she said that she bought a statue because her snail died, so I was relieved to say the least. But as I hung up the phone, I didn't hear something I was used to hearing 7 times a day, my mom saying 'k bich go diy in a hol kthxbi' so I was scared. As I hid under my covers I heard someone opening the door; when I looked out of the covers, I was relieved. It was Jim the Robber coming for his daily visit. "YO SUN WER IS ZE MUNEY?" he said.

"sry bro my mum hid it ;c but heres sum dhiarrhea powder, it goes guud wiz cofe!" I replied.

"kthx bro ur teh best homy zere is, bones" he said as we fist bumped.

As I once again hid under the covers, I saw something else entering, it was Billy Ray-Sanguine. I was confused as that was a fictional character from a beloved book known as Skuldugger Pleasant, so I looked at the juice box I was sipping from, sure enough it said "probbly cuntayns drugs brah sry".

When I woke up feeling less drugged than usual I realized there was something in the corner. Oh no, I saw it, Miley Cyrus!

Looking back, I saw something that scarred me for life, Miley Cyrus twerking. I gasped and fell from being scared, to wake up dead, as a butt piercing.

The end