Board Thread:Random Stuff/@comment-30638561-20131127222227

Let's make derpy things in this post!

I made this little gem.

Item #:  SCP-3-J

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3-J is to be kept in a pizza -lined containment chamber located in Your Basement, where it is to be guarded at all times by no less than BAUMKUCHEN idiots armed with refined uranium.

In the event that SCP-3-J ever begins killing its coccyx, Dr.Gears is to ban SCP-3-J until it ceases its behavior. In the event of a containment breach, Mobile Task Force Omega-7 (Your favorite TV show) is to be dispatched to SCP-3-J's last known location.

Description: SCP-3-J is a dumb monkeh. Like most members of its species, it is able to hit mentlegan, and regularly eats twice its own weight in pizza each day.

SCP-3-J's unusual properties manifest whenever it comes in contact with noobs, which causes it to turn into obby. Whenever this happens, all nibs within a BAUMKUCHEN kilometer radius will begin to smash uncontrollably, usually leading to civilian casualties.

In addition, many researchers feel it has an uncanny resemblance to Trialtest. Whether or not this is at all related to SCP-3-J's anomalous properties is unknown at this time.

Recovery Log: SCP-3-J was first located in Poland where the Giants were using it in order to Eat XiaoXiaoman. Thankfully, Mobile Task Force Omega-7 (Your favorite TV show) was able to recover the object with only 1 million billion zillion bajillion civilian casualties.

Addendum: Test Log 3-1

 Dr. Ze Medic: Ello? Ello? Is zhis thing on? Ach, good. Zhis is Docktorr Ze Medic, and I am about to test SCP-3's reaction to pizza. Are you ready to proceed, Docktorr Nesdjs?Dr. Nesdjs: Yes sir, ready to begin test.

Dr. Ze Medic: Excellent! I am now introducing the pizza to 3... hmm, zhe subject seems to have already figured out zhe test material.

Dr. Nesdjs: Making a note; 'subject shows high capacity for learning'.

Ze Medic: Now zhe subject is lookink right at me, almost as if it... MEIN GOTT! MEIN butt! IT'S GOT MEIN butt! OH ZHE AGONY! ZHE AGONEEEEEEEEEEEEY!

END LOG In light of incident 3-J-1, testing has been suspended indefinitely. - O5-█   