Board Thread:Off-Topic/@comment-24108228-20140917162847

I wonder what it would be like to be on the wrong end of the triple crossbow... =Wait, that's the wrong way around...=

Background
You are the leader of a powerful tribe. You and your friends have no life whatsoever and can play the game for many days on end, with no connectivity issues, lag, or fear of hackers (owing to an anti-hack and a few friendly admins who roam the server while invisible). As a result, you and your dedicated team of 6 have set up camp at mainland oil, and collected plenty of mithril. You all have a full mithril toolset (customised to your liking), a double wall high castle, and well established trade routes with a guy atop desert mountain, who has a large farm and trades apple pies and bugsharks for mithril and iron (of which a second large stockpile is also being established).

All is good, and you and your group of friends have decided it time to split up. Although you and your tribe have near infinite stockpiles of both mithril, gold, and iron, you lack coal and sulphur, which is restricting you from getting steel, explosives, and all manner of awesome stuff. After a heated debate over spire and magma, the tribe settles for the latter option, and a party of three head out in a modified war sloop that the boatbuilder made for the occasion. The plan is they mine for a while, and when they decide it's time for restocking of motherland resources (materials made at "The Motherland", the mainland oil spill base), they head back, and materials are exchanged. That way everyone is happy. The new tribe arrives, and plans for a teleport system are speculated. While all this is happening, a nublet makes a small hamlet outside the motherland. It's pretty close by, but you decide to ignore it for the time being so you can test your new explosives on it later, when it's more advanced.

This was a grave mistake however, as while your tribe are busy getting used to two settlements and getting to work trying to transport the teleporter brick overseas, a true expert of the game comes along. They wield the triple crossbow, and have learnt how to glitch the game so you have both mithril armour health and woven vest crossbow powers. They are effectively unstoppable. They approach your castle after much preparation, they have seen your power and wish to join you. However, instead of the tribe leader, they find the nub. Epik Guy: Hi there, you seem pretty advanced. Do you know where I can find the tribe leader? Nublet: Lololololo im da trib leder wat u want nuub? Epik Guy: Well, I has going to ask if I could join. Nublet: Lololololo go away nub At this point, the nublet pulls out an iron sword, perhaps they had found the wiki after all. But clearly not the well hidden guides board, as the nublet charged at the Epik Guy and attempted to kill him. A single bolt was all that it took.

Afterwards, the nublet did the usual nublet things (I new u were a evil person, u were goin to kill meh wen i let u jon!), and then proceeded to ragequit. The Epik Guy, seeing you speak the most of the remaining members and are most likely to read it, sends you a private message: "I have no idea how you got the buildings or anything else, but that doesn't matter to me. You're clearly a mindless tribe of stupid random killers, your leader has already shown that to me with his abilities of leadership. Nothing you say will save you, I'm used to the lies of people like you, I am going to remove this tribe off the face of the planet".

After some asking around in your Skype call that you and your friends are all in, you learn what has happened, and your attempts at explaining what happened to the crossbowman are fruitless. The crossbow wielder has already mislead the small tribe of bento into thinking you are an evil villain, and the three players that lived there are fortifying a home base for their new "Saviour". Spy intelligence (a guy who zoomed out really far while standing atop rockma) has stated that his first move is going to be laying siege on the magma half of the tribe, and try to eliminate the group. What do you do?

Rules
.Exes are fun to write, but more fun to solve and see all the clever solutions others have written. To avoid all the fun from being spoilt, please follow these rules if posting a serious suggestion ("Well, I just kill him with a battle club :D" is fine, we all get to joke around, just don't make that all your post contains).
 * This guy is better at combat than any of your tribe members. He is also the only person who can use the armour glitch stated.
 * The invisible admin is not going to interact. At all. The only interaction they make with anyone is banning hackers and dragburners.
 * You cannot negotiate with him or his minions. They're all firmly adamant on their beliefs.
 * You ain't no god. Don't go completely ninja on this guy, you cant pull it off.
 * Although not a rule, bear in mind that woven vests are vulnerable to a single shot to the head with another woven vest wielder and a crossbow. Since the Epik Guy has mithril armour health, it takes three shots to the head with a buffed Yewbeam or crossbow (and 4 to 5 without the buff).

Conclusion
I hope you enjoy this, the Roleplay is mostly dead and exes have a charm to them (godmodding isn't really evil, you don't have to be really dedicated to it), which makes it less work and more fun for everyone. Have fun! == 