User blog:Aracnaboy/DAFUQ???

i did your mom...

a favor,

by making you...

a sandwhich,

i forgot the condom...

-ents,

thats why your house shakes in the middle of the night.

im prepared for a zombie apocalypse, ive studied their anatomy. if they have glowing eyes, set them on fire, or shoot them in the eyes, this is also a sign that theyre a fresh zombie. your brain may be a delacacy, but theirs is a vulnurability, smash it in, or splatter it all over the pavement, do whatever it takes. watch out for their jaw, its their weapon of choice, after being bitten, you have 30 minutes before you start craving brains. zombies travel in ranked hordes: small group: 5 zed medium group: 10 zed  large group: 15 zed, small party: 20 zed  medium horde: 30 zed  large party: 40 zed, small horde: 50 zed  medium horde: 75 zed  large horde: 100 zed, 150+ is a troubling. they may have boney parts, or weakened skin, and if they have enough blood in one place, shoot them in that area, make sure you tear them limb from limb, they scratch and whack, hard. if a zombie is seeming to move slightly faster, kill it right there, they could get a nice dinner, or a bag of barf in the case of some people. if a zombie is killing other zombies, dont help it, if it sees you shooting down its brotherin, it will go after you. if a zombie has fallen over, kill it there. if a zombie appears to be able to dig through walls, kill that zombie, then repair that wall immediately, otherwise, the other zombies will learn from their fallen friend. if a zombie picks up a gun, take cover, and kill it as soon as you get the chance. if a zombie is smart enough to figure out explosives, bunker down and hope for the best. if a zombie is smart enough to drive a car, blow up that car immediately, same goes for planes and tanks, and even boats. if a zombie is able to climb, pour a bucket of lit flamable liguid, then dump it on them form above. if they manage to ride you, get a fellow fighter to shoot it off your head, same goes for if your friend gets ridden. if you see a partner in distress, help them out. zombies are stupid, they dont know the physics of fire, and they arent familiar with physics at all, use that to your advantage, have them jump out of windows, off buildings, and set them on fire. if they figure out how to use an elevator, cut the wire immediately. if you get your hands on a radio, send out some distress calls, or responses, you might find another elite team of fighters, and you could unite and have better forces. never ever split up to cover more ground, its a rookie mistake, no matter how well armed you are, dont do it. youll need food, where will you get it? convenience stores, walmarts, and other places, you need to plow through a hoard of zombies to get to the stuff though, keep soldiers at hand. keep your men happy, if they are unhappy, do something to make them happy, if theyre happy, they fight better. if a zombie is strong enough to pick you up, focus fire on it, if a zombie appears to be stronger than the others, kill it right there. thats my advice on how to deal with zombies.

some days, horamones build up, and people harrass you, like sexual wendsdays. when your like a ninja just so you can get some cake, and its gone, you rage. when you forget important, embarrassing thing, and someone brings them to you at the worst possible time, you punch a tree, and probably yell TIMBAH. life comes with hidden solutions that help, find them, and life will be putty in your hands.

thats all i got, converse!